Legally Weird

Topless Women OK in Public, NYPD Memo Reveals

2013-05-20T18:50:01Z

As summer approaches, weather-appropriate attire is an absolute must, and on a hot sticky summer day in NYC, the dress code may call for you to be topless.

But it's not only the fashion police who will have to give you a pass. The boys in blue of the NYPD will also have to keep their cuffs in their pockets, according to a memo revealed in a topless woman's lawsuit.

The NYPD memo clarifies that being a shirtless woman is not an arrestable offense in New York City.

Public Exposure

To stay abreast of public nudity laws in the Big Apple, you need to know the statutes, specifically the one stating that women exposing breasts below the "top of the areola" was originally considered a crime.

However, New York's highest court decided in the early 1990s that this gender distinction was a violation of equal protection, and that men and women were all free to be topless without violating the law.

Though this titillating ruling has been on the books for more than 20 years, some NYPD officers are still arresting topless performers like Bronx resident Holly Van Voast, reports The New York Times.

'New' NYPD Orders

The unabashed Voast performs under the moniker Harvey Van Toast, a "topless paparazzo" character who was also arrested several times in 2011 and 2012 for public exposure, despite the court's ruling.

These charges have all been dropped, however, and the arrests have ceased, after higher-ups read this "no boob arrest" memo to NYPD officers ad nauseum during roll call, reports the Times.

While Gotham women are free to get this off their respective chests, this does little for members of the exposed genital and booty community, who still need to keep their pants on.

Nude but Not Lewd

So while NYC women are publicly free to let their areolas feel the UV kiss of the summer sun, being offensive or lewd in your birthday suit is still illegal.

Lewdness is like pornography, hard to legally define, but here are some standout examples of lewd conduct:

Public masturbation,
Public sex acts of any kind, and
Indecent touching of children.

Anything between that and simply displaying your god-given mammaries is a legal gray area. Still, NYC women should use their common sense before flashing their bosoms to a bus full of nuns.

Related Resources:

PSA for all da Laaaadies from the NYPD: You Can Go Topless in Public (Gawker)
Naked Burglar Arrested Covered in Chocolate, Peanut Butter (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Naked Woman with Loaded Gun Storms CA Motel Lobby (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Naked Crusader: SF Supervisor Wants to Clothe Castro Street (FindLaw's California Case Law)

Inmate Sues Taco Bell for Stealing Doritos Locos Tacos Idea

2013-05-17T14:37:01Z

A federal prison inmate is suing Taco Bell over its new menu item, the Doritos Locos Tacos.

But Gary Cole, who's serving a 25-year sentence at a super-max prison in Florence, Colorado, isn't looking to get his hands on some of these ingenious tacos with hard shells made from Nacho Cheese Doritos Chips.

Instead, Cole claims in a federal lawsuit that he is the inventor of the Doritos taco shells, and that someone has stolen his now hugely successful idea, the Dallas Observer reports.

Could it be that prison inmates have way too much time on their hands and too little access to lawyers to tell them to stop wasting their time? Or is the inmate's suit against Taco Bell really not as loco as it seems?

Thinking Outside the Bun

Gary Cole had plenty of time indeed to hand-write his 35-page complaint without help from a lawyer. But first, he wrote to the FBI demanding that they investigate this alleged taco-idea thievery.

He also wrote to the IRS, demanding information on the unnamed thief who was paid by a check "made out to a person for a large amount by Taco Bell, Frito Lay, and Pepsi Co. Inc."

Finally, Cole submitted a Freedom of Information Act request to Taco Bell, seeking documents related to the invention of the Doritos Locos Tacos. He never heard back. (Probably because FOIA requests only work to get information from government agencies, not from private companies.)

Representing Himself

Cole may have had no option but to "think outside the bun" in his attempts to resolve his beef with Taco Bell. However, no one seemed to care to respond to him and he was left with his last resort: to sue in federal court -- without a lawyer. (He actually tried to get legal representation, but was turned down, the Observer notes.)

Without seeing Cole's actual lawsuit -- the Observer's report doesn't mention what cause(s) of action Cole is pursuing -- it's not clear how his case will play out in court. But if a judge deems the lawsuit frivolous, it will get tossed out.

Even if the case proceeds, Cole should seriously think it over before diving into the difficult and potentially expensive task of suing Taco Bell on his own. He has a huge task ahead of him to prove he, not Taco Bell, owns the idea behind those tasty tacos.

Related Resources:

Ex-Inmate Could Not Afford to Buy Toothpaste, Has Lawsuit Reinstated (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
New York Prisoner Sues: 'Rodent Bit my Penis' (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Prisoner Can Sue for Cockroaches, But He Can't Sue the State (FindLaw's U.S. Tenth Circuit Blog)
Prison's 'Nutraloaf' May Violate 8th Amendment (FindLaw's Decided)

Rich Moms Hiring Disabled Guides at Disney to Cut in Line

2013-05-16T15:34:01Z

What does the upper crust at Disney World look like? According to the New York Post, they're rich Manhattan moms who hire disabled tour guides so that they (and their non-handicapped children) can cut in line.

To be a part of the elite 1% who get to feel nauseous after a whirl on the Mad Hatter's Tea Party or get delightfully drenched on Splash Mountain without waiting in line for hours, these "black-market tour guides" cost about $130 an hour, or more than $1,000 for an eight-hour day.

Disney's message to these line-cutting moms: Cut it out.

"It is unacceptable to abuse accommodations that were designed for guests with disabilities," a Disney spokesman told CNN.

Aside from the abused exercise of privilege, unfair deceit, and, well, rather disgusting behavior that these Park Avenue moms are exhibiting, what else is wrong about this?

Plenty. For one, accommodations for the legitimately disabled are there for a reason. It's the reason why the Americans with Disabilities Act exists in the first place. Enacted by Congress, the ADA is a whole slew of civil rights laws that are specifically meant to prohibit discrimination against those with disabilities.

Title III of the ADA in particular ensures that individuals don't face discrimination at any place of "public accommodation," which includes theme parks like Disney World.

The ADA is exactly why those who are disabled get to use another entrance, why wheelchair ramps exist in front of certain buildings, and why disabled guests often don't have to wait in line with the rest of the masses. The purpose of the Act is to take into consideration each individual's capacity based on their disability.

The only disability these rich line-cutting moms seem to display is a lack of regard for those who actually need tour guides to help them manuever through the park and properly access the rides. Hopefully it will make some difference to remind them that a place dubbed the "Happiest Place on Earth" is worth the wait.

Related Resources:

Disney World Scam: Wealthy Moms 'Rent' Disabled Guides To Skip The Lines (And Shame Humankind) (The Huffington Post)
Disabled Man Stuck on Disneyland Ride Wins $8K (FindLaw's Injured)
Disneyland Segway Ruling Stands as Victory for Disabled Mom (FindLaw's Decided)
Disneyland Character Refused to Hug Black Kids, Lawsuit Claims (FindLaw's Legally Weird)

'Robin Hood' Parking Meter-Feeders Sued for Harassment

2013-05-15T18:35:01Z

To the dismay of every urban damsel, a parking meter "Robin Hood" group is being sued for harassing parking enforcement officers.

Garret Ean and his band of merry men call themselves "Robin Hood of Keene," as in Keene, New Hampshire. They walk the streets and feed parking meters about to expire, WMUR-TV reports.

A far cry from Sherwood Forest, the city of Keene is accusing the group of harassing Meter Maid Marians and interfering with their work.

What Constitutes 'Harassment'?

Under New Hampshire law, the Robin Hood of Keene could potentially face criminal harassment charges if they:

Insult, taunt or challenge the parking enforcement officers in a way that is likely to provoke a violent or disorderly reaction,
Alarm or annoy the officers to make them fear for their safety, or
Alarm or annoy the officers even after the officers tell them to stop -- unless the communication is legally protected.

The city of Keene's lawsuit, however, apparently only seeks a stay-away order. Criminal charges, it seems, are not being pursued.

Stress, Anxiety Alleged

Ean's Robin Hood group records its actions on the streets and posts videos online, WMUR-TV reports. In the videos, two or three people can often be seen following the enforcement officers and recording as they look for expired meters.

The city said one enforcement officer suffered stress and anxiety from the group's antics, and even experienced heart palpitations.

But Ean insists that he's "not trying to cause anybody medical issues" and has been "nothing but positive and trying to keep a good demeanor with all of the enforcers."

In all likelihood, these modern-day Robin Hoods may soon have to keep their meter-feeding at a distance from the enforcement officers. The city is angling for at least 50 feet. Whether the group has the constitutional right to record the enforcement officers up-close is a huge, controversial First Amendment issue.

If all else fails, the meter enforcers may want to call the Knights of the AAA Table for backup.

Related Resources:

Keene, NH Sues 'Robin Hood' Group (ABC News)
Santa Monica Parking Meters Making Woman Sick: $1.7B Claim (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
'Cleaning Fairy' Gets Probation, But Legal Cleanup Continues (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Bogus Parking Ticket Victim Can Bring Police Harassment Lawsuit (FindLaw's Seventh Circuit Blog)

Man Who Fled 'Zombies' Pleads Guilty in Hit-and-Run Crash

2013-05-14T19:29:01Z

The "man who fled zombies" Jeremiah Clyde Hartline pleaded guilty to three felony counts Monday after a wild big rig crash that he claims was caused by the walking dead.

The plea bargain allows the potential "Zombieland" cast member a sentence of up to five years in prison, which is a no-tasty-brainer compared to the approximately 12 years he might face if he went to trial, reports U-T San Diego.

Belief in zombies might be laughable, but possible defenses to felony theft charges based on zombies might not be.

Defenses to Theft

Zombie apocalypse believer Hartline was charged with auto theft for stowing away in a truck full of strawberries and jacking the truck while the driver was at a weighing station, reports the Associated Press.

In California, a person is guilty of grand theft, a possible felony, if the culprit takes a vehicle without the owner's permission.

However, zombiephobes and zombielovers alike can claim some potential defenses when charged with auto theft, such as necessity or intoxication.

Necessity? ('I Thought There Were Zombies')

Not a friend to the living-challenged, Hartline could have been so frightened of the zombies in his mind that he believed stealing the truck was a necessity, possibly allowing him off the hook for theft.

Unforunately, the criminal defense of necessity is unavailable if the criminal act actually increased the danger of the situation, and the multicar pileup caused by Hartline's theft is pretty damning.

Intoxication? ('Altered' State of Mind)

After being arrested in April for causing a chain of car crashes he claims were undead-related, law enforcement informed City News Service that Hartline was "altered," possibly from illegal drugs, reports the Temcula Patch.

To be guilty of theft, Hartline would have to be able to form the intent to steal. If he was so blasted that he believed the truck belonged to him, not to mention that ravenous ambulatory flesheaters were chasing him, he may not be guilty of auto theft.

Prison or Anti-Zombie Stronghold?

These are all moot points to Jeremiah Clyde Hartline, who instead may take comfort, like the protagonists of AMC's "The Walking Dead," in the fairly zombie-proof structure of a California prison.

Related Resources:

TEMECULA: Driver claims zombies chasing him after big I-15 crash (The Press-Enterprise)
Would a Zombie Apocalypse Affect Wrongful Death Claims? (FindLaw's Boston Personal Injury News)
Report of Woman Shot Leads to Halloween Zombie's DUI Arrest (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Zombie Car Crash Creates Rescue Confusion (FindLaw's Legally Weird)

Woman Slaps Deputy to Go to Jail, Quit Smoking

2013-05-13T14:12:01Z

Smoking is a nasty habit and quitting can be a challenge. Some people try the nicotine patch, while others apparently go to jail to quit smoking.

Not rehab, jail.

Etta Mae Lopez decided to slap a sheriff's deputy so she could go to jail, where smoking isn't allowed, the Associated Press reports. (Dear smokers: Does nicotine chewing gum taste that bad?)

Lopez, 31, pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery on a peace officer.

"She waited all day for a deputy to come out because she knew if she assaulted a deputy she would go to jail and be inside long enough to quit her smoking habit," the battered deputy told The Sacramento Bee.

A battery on a law enforcement officer occurs when a person intentionally touches an officer in a harmful or offensive manner without consent. The battery must generally occur while the officer is performing his or her duties.

Lopez smacked Sacramento County Sheriff's Deputy Matt Campoy in the face as he was leaving the main jail at the end of his shift, the AP reports. His shift ending likely isn't an issue because an officer can be considered to be "performing his or her duties" regardless of whether he's technically on or off duty.

Battering a police officer is a "wobbler" offense. That means the battery can be charged as a misdemeanor or a felony, depending on the injury, the circumstances of the offense, and the defendant's criminal history. Generally, if the officer isn't injured, the battery will be filed as a misdemeanor.

Since Campoy sustained surprise more than anything, Lopez was charged with a misdemeanor. She's been sentenced to 63 days in jail, with credit for the three days she served last week, the AP reports. Let's hope for the Sacramento County Sheriff Department's sake that it's enough time for her to quit smoking.

On a happier note, Campoy tells the Bee he came away from the incident with a nice new Irish name: "Nick O'Derm."

Related Resources:

Woman allegedly slaps cop to get thrown in jail to stop smoking (The Sacramento Bee)
California Assault and Battery Laws (FindLaw)
Denied e-Cigarette, LAX Passenger Assaults Attendant with Peanuts (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Mom French-Kisses Son in Jail to Smuggle Drugs (FindLaw's Legally Weird)

New Twist in Rastafarian's Religious Pot Case: Where Is He?

2013-05-10T17:51:01Z

Dude, where's my defendant?

A Rastafarian pot enthusiast has pulled the "religion" card in his defense. But when his case came up in court this week, he was nowhere to be found.

Robert Joseph Simmons, 33, believes he doesn't need to worry about a thing -- not because every little thing is gonna be alright, but because he claims marijuana is a "core tenet" of his religion. Simmons appears to take his religious practice very seriously, because he was busted with more than two and half pounds of pot and 13 pills of hydromorphine, The San Francisco Examiner reports.

But where is Simmons now? And is it possible to legally smoke Mary Jane in the name of religion?

Making a Case for Religious Pot Use

The federal Controlled Substances Act allows the religious use of peyote, but it doesn't carve out a spot for religious marijuana. Even so, anyone who manufactures or distributes peyote to the Native American Church has to obtain registration annually and to comply with all other requirements of law.

In Bob ~~Marley~~ Simmons' case, he decided that he didn't need any kind of government approval -- a medical marijuana card or otherwise -- to possess the marijuana, The Examiner reports.

Last year, the Ninth Circuit, which includes our Rastafarian's Golden State, heard a lawsuit that seeks permission to smoke marijuana for religious purposes. In its lawsuit, The Oklevueha Native American Church of Hawaii sought a declaratory judgment affirming the legality of its members' religious marijuana use. But there's no clear answer yet, as the case was sent back to the lower court to determine the church members' constitutional and statutory entitlement to use marijuana for religious purposes.

This issue has also come up in Colorado, where a self-proclaimed "botanical messiah" didn't have much luck either. The 25-year-old man argued that cannabis was similar to the breaking of bread and drinking of wine in Catholic Holy Communion. The judge ruled the man's beliefs didn't rise to the level of a religion and rejected his marijuana use as a holy sacrament.

Rastafarian On the Run?

Back to Rastafarian Robert Simmons' case, a bench warrant was issued for his arrest after he failed to show up for a court hearing on the drug charges, reports The Examiner.

Even Simmons' attorney has had difficulty reaching him. His lawyer went so far as to ask The Examiner to include a message that he wants Simmons to call him.

We'll just have to wait and see how the Rastafarian Robert Simmons' case turns out. Meantime, if you see a Rasta on the run, you may want to send a smoke signal.

Related Resources:

Rastafarian's Attorneys Fees Limited in PLRA Dread-Touching Claim (FindLaw's Second Circuit Blog)
Dreadlocked: Prison Haircut Based on Religious Discrimination (FindLaw's Seventh Circuit Blog)
City Repays Woman After Cops Ruined Her Medical Marijuana Plants (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
'Pastafarian' Wins Legal Right to Pasta Strainer in License Photo (FindLaw's Legal Grounds)

Mothers Do the Darnedest Things: 10 Dumb Ways Moms Get Arrested

2013-05-09T14:48:01Z

When you filled out your Mother's Day card this year (you haven't?), did you pause and think of some bonehead move your mom pulled over the last year?

Here's hoping that dumb move by your mom didn't get her arrested, as happened to quite a few conniving (and some unwitting) criminal mothers over the past few years.

Proving that having the ability to produce or rear children does not a criminal genius make, here are 10 dumb ways moms have gotten arrested:

Texting and Driving ... With a Baby in Your Lap. Quite the illegal multitasker, one California mom was busted for texting with her 1-year-old son between her and the steering wheel. Police also took issue with her other young children not being properly secured in the vehicle.

Shoplifting. Bargain-seeking moms get arrested for this all the time, including the now-infamous mother of Boston Marathon bombing suspects Tamerlan and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. Zubeidat Tsarnaeva made a poor fashion choice in deciding to skip bail on a shoplifting charge over $1,600 worth of designer dresses. In fact, her arrest warrant may be one reason she changed her mind about returning to the United States.

Throwing Your Underage Daughter a Kegger. Denise "Miki" Spies proved that 45-year-old moms can still be totally cool, and that they still know how to party... That is, until she got arrested for providing alcohol to a houseful of teenagers including her 18-year-old daughter.

Giving Your 11-Year-Old a Tattoo. One tattoo artist mom probably should have thought twice about bringing her work home, after she was arrested for giving her tween daughter a heart tattoo on her left arm. She's not alone. A tip for all the inked moms out there: At least 39 states also prohibit children's tattoos, with some exceptions.

Endangering Kids While Looking for Your Missing Stash. One pothead mom was apparently jonesing for some jailtime, which she got in spades after locking her kids in her home while she tried to track down her missing drug stash. Tragically, the house caught fire while she was out, and her twin sons died.

Starting a Ponzi Scheme. Move over Bernie Madoff: Ponzi schemes are now the province of PTA moms. From 2008 to 2010, some California moms schemed and spent millions before being charged with grand theft and securities fraud.

Smuggling Drugs to Your Son, With a Kiss. Every mom wants to give her son a little sugar now and then, but less-than-sweet Kimberly Margeson was caught trying to pass Oxycodone pills to her son in jail ... via must must've been a cringe-worthy French kiss.

Punching Your Son During an Anger-Management Class. No one likes a child with a dirty mouth, but Misty Lawson decked her son twice after he called her the "B" word, angering her during her court-ordered anger-management counseling.

Sending Death Threats to Coaches. Being a helicopter parent may have its limits. Janet Chizuzzi demonstrated this when she mailed death threats to her son's Little League coach, who excluded the boy from a travel team. Talk about being a bad sport.

Obstructing Some Justice. Celebrity moms aren't immune from dumb criminal impulses either, as "Legally Blonde" actress Reese Witherspoon showed the world in her drunken arrest video. Witherspoon even tried to pull the "mom" card by falsely claiming she was pregnant and needed to use the restroom, Us Magazine reports. Didn't her mom teach her better?

Related Resources:

The 5 Worst Moms of the Year (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Mom Convicted of Denying Autistic Son Cancer Drugs (FindLaw's Blotter)
FL Mom Told Daughter to Bite, Hit Girl Harder (FindLaw's Blotter)
MN Mom Made Daughter, 12, Shave Head, Wear Diaper in Street (FindLaw's Legally Weird)

Facebook Stalking 'Victim' Stalks Herself in Bizarre Revenge Plot

2013-05-08T18:59:01Z

The alleged case of a phony Facebook stalking victim raises an interesting philosophical question: What happens if Narcissus looks into the water and sees a catfish?

We apparently have an answer, as the purported Facebook stalking "victim" -- 52-year-old Cheryl Nelson of Grand Rapids, Michigan -- has now been charged in the matter, after trying to pin the blame on her ex-boyfriend's new love interest.

But police say Nelson actually Facebook-stalked herself in a bizarre plot for revenge.

Fake Facebook Accounts

In a new twist on "catfishing," Nelson allegedly set up fake Facebook accounts using her ex-boyfriend's personal information and made it look like she was being stalked and harassed by his new flame.

Over the course of a year, Nelson made eight criminal complaints, saying she was the victim of stalking, harassment, assault, and a home invasion.

But during the investigation, the tables turned when her ex-boyfriend filed a complaint, alleging that Nelson threatened him and was the actual creepy stalker.

Lo and behold, police got a search warrant to check her computer and figured out she was the sad, vengeful culprit fit for a 90's thriller like "Single White Female."

The Plot Unravels

Nelson eventually admitted to falsely reporting crimes because she couldn't get over the breakup with her ex-boyfriend. She's been charged with the false report of a felony and the unlawful posting of a message.

False reports of crime happen more often than you think. You may have heard of "SWATting," where an an anonymous caller reports an ongoing crime at someone's house, triggering an armed response by the local SWAT team.

Generally, making a false call to 911 is considered a misdemeanor, which can lead to a year in jail.

In the digital world, creating a fake Facebook profile for your ex-boyfriend might seem like a satisfying way to get revenge -- and you wouldn't be the first to do it. But even if you had, like, the worst breakup ever, it can be considered identity theft in some states. I know, life's totally unfair sometimes.

In states like California, you can even face up to a year in jail and a fine of $1,000 for violating online impersonation laws.

A word of wisdom to the broken-hearted: Eat a pint of ice cream, watch every movie with Kate Hudson, join OKCupid (with your real name!), and move on. No man is worth a criminal charge -- not even Justin Timberlake.

Related Resources:

Woman Allegedly Stalks Self With Fake Facebook Account (ABC News)
'Catfishing' Leads to Lawsuit at Ball State Univ. (FindLaw's Injured)
Judge to Mean Mom: No Posting About Kids on Facebook (FindLaw's Legally Weird)
Teen Breaks Into Home to Check Facebook, Urinate on Couch (FindLaw's Legally Weird)

Woman Set Up Own Adoption to Get 'Dad's' Apartment: Report

2013-05-07T19:31:01Z

A New York woman is being called to task for allegedly setting up her adoption by an elderly man in order to get his rent-controlled apartment.

Pamela Becker, 62, was legally adopted by 85-year-old Nicholas DeTommaso in 2009. After DeTommasso died that year, Becker took over the lease to DeTommaso's flat in Queens. The monthly rent: just $100.

But last month, Becker was crestfallen to learn that the New York Division of Housing and Community Renewal had ruled that she was not entitled to the extremely cheap apartment, The New York Post reports.

Adult Adoption

Adopting adult children might sound off-putting, but it's perfectly legal.

In the long history of inherited wealth in this nation, adult adoption has most commonly been used to give non-relatives access to family money or to direct property and money away from blood relatives.

In the olden times for gays and lesbians (read: any time before now), devoted couples who could not marry or gain civil unions would adopt their partner in order to pass down assets after death.

Becker's case is a bit different, however, because it appears that DeTommaso, her adoptive father, may have been senile when he legally adopted her in 2009.

Power of Attorney

The deal-savvy Becker used her power of attorney over DeTomasso, gained in 2007, to get a legally finalized adoption.

Power of attorney can allow a person to act as an agent for another person who may lack capacity, and in the case of a general power of attorney, make decisions for that person in almost all matters. This can include:

Medical decisions.
Financial decisions. Agents can issue checks from another person's bank account and manage their finances too.
Business decisions. A general power of attorney allows an agent to make business decisions as if they were the business owner.
Legal decisions. This includes drafting wills, and in this case, adopting adult sexagenarian children.

Lines of Succession

It may sound like a the crux of a Shakespeare play or a "Game of Thrones" plot, but a family member cannot take over a rent-controlled apartment for a dead senior tenant unless she has lived there for at least a year prior to his death, according to New York law.

New York housing authorities claim Pamela Becker -- the daughter of a former U.S. diplomat and the sister of the mayor of Salt Lake City -- only resided in the apartment for 22 days before Nicholas DeTomasso died, so she is not entitled to his apartment.

Tough break, Becker.

Related Resources:

Woman fights for adoptive dad's apartment (UPI)
FL Man Adopts Adult Girlfriend, 42, to Shield Assets? (FindLaw's Injured)
New York Durable Power of Attorney Laws (FindLaw)
Find an Estate Planning Lawyer in Your Area (FindLaw)